the day my boyfriend became my fiancé.

i never understood those couples who got engaged and made the decision to wait to get married…
until ben and i became one of those couples.

ben proposed on july 23, 2013.
i was 11 weeks pregnant.
before we found out that we were expecting emery, we had discussed marriage and decided that we wanted to wait a few years before we considered getting engaged, but it was definitely what we both wanted. when that little pink line showed up on the pregnancy test, we had the conversation again and, again, decided to wait.


it was a tuesday morning and i was in a HORRIBLE mood. ben was working overnights at the recording studio so we hadn’t gone to bed until 6 am. at 8 am, our fire alarm started going off as a drill that was supposed to last 5-10 minutes. 45 minutes later, the alarm continued to scream and i was about to boil over. ben disappeared to the leasing office to pick up a package and i paced around the apartment ready to explode. he came back and told me to get dressed. he waited patiently as i stomped around the apartment in protest, yelling about how hormonal and exhausted i was. he promised me starbucks and a “surprise” before he left for work at 11.
we went for coffee and he was uncharacteristically quiet. a (seemingly blank) notecard was falling out of his back pocket, so i took it out and handed it to him. he looked flustered by the gesture.
we got back into the car after starbucks and we held hands while he drove. he kept having to let go so that he could wipe his sweaty palms. he was being quiet and weird and i was positive something bad was coming so i began to talk incessantly. i don’t even know what i was talking about, i was just talking.
we wound up at griffith observatory overlooking LA, one of our favorite spots. i brought up the fact that it can’t be rented out for weddings or events. “what a waste, griffith and the getty are the two most beautiful properties in LA and you can’t host events at either.”
“you can’t get married here? you can’t do anything here?”
“i guess we could do engagement or maternity photos here down the line, but you can’t do anything else. and i don’t even know the rules about photos, you probably need a permit.”
-complete silence-

i guess i should have seen it coming because he took me to a bench on the left side of the observatory instead of to the observatory itself, which was full of day camp field trip groups (i told him if he ever proposed in public with people watching i’d say no). the view was no less spectacular, i swear it’ll never get old. it was a beautiful and unusually clear day. the bright blue sky was littered with cottony white clouds.
we sat on the bench and ben said, “did you see what was on that notecard? i probably ruined the surprise.”
“no, i thought it was blank.”
“well, the package i picked up from the office this morning wasn’t from my mom. it was from my grandma, i asked her for her wedding ring. i haven’t looked at it yet so i don’t even know what it looks like. we can see it for the first time together. you can wear it until we can pick one out together.”
he continued on saying beautiful things about the baby and our life together that eventually ended in, “will you marry me?”
i didn’t even have time to process the question before i kissed him and said, “yes!” i didn’t even have time to cry, my head was spinning.
we cuddled up on the bench a little longer and he suggested i call my mom.
“hi sweetie, i’m at the zoo with your brother!”
“I’M ENGAGED!!! ben just proposed! we’re getting married!!!”
“i’m by the zebras!”
“WHAT!? MOM! did you hear what i just said??!?! I’M ENGAGED! BEN PROPOSED!”
“oh my god WHAT!?!?”

i immediately thew myself into planning, making list upon list. we decided on late summer 2015 in chicago. i was being naïve in how time consuming taking care of a baby and planning a wedding would be, so it’s since been pushed to summer 2016.
i thought i’d be fine with the wait, but i’m starting to get antsy. REALLY antsy.
so i’ve taken it upon myself to start planning anyway. i know i’m a little early, but prepare for major wedding inspo. AND i plan to do an entire post about my wedding binder especially since it could use some re-vamping… some of it is already irrelevant.

i’m so happy i’m getting married while pinterest is still relevant.

xo, a


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